What makes people angry?

So, isn’t it “bad” to feel angry?
Being angry isn’t always a bad thing. Being angry can help you share your worries. This can prevent others from stepping on you. It can motivate you to do something positive. The key is to manage  it healthily and Know how to cope with anger.

Why am I angry?
Feelings of anger arise because of the way we interpret and react to certain situations. Everyone has their triggers for what makes them angry, this is why we need to learn how to understand and listen to our emotions.  There are situations where we feel:

As if we are being invalidated or treated unfairly, frustrated or helpless
as if people don’t respect our feelings or property, we are threatened or attacked.
People may interpret situations differently, so a situation that makes you very angry may not make someone else angry at all (for example, other reactions may include annoyance, pain or pleasure). 

But just because we can interpret things differently doesn’t mean you interpret the “bad” things if you get angry.

Whether your anger is stemming from something that happened in the past or something happening now, thinking about how and why we interpret and react to situations can help us learn to better manage our emotions. It can also help us find productive strategies to deal with our anger, however, you need to find out if you have any anger problems.

The way you interpret and react to a situation can depend on many factors in your life, including:

1. Experience 
If you have experienced specific situations in the past that made you angry, like violence, trauma or bullying (as a child or more recently as an adult) and you weren’t able to safely express your anger at the time, you can still cope with these feelings  now.

This could mean that you now find certain situations particularly difficult, and they are more likely to make you angry.

Sometimes your current feeling of anger can not only be related to the current situation but can also be related to an experience, which can mean that the anger you are feeling in the present is at a level that reflects your past situation.

Realizing this can help us find ways to respond to present situations more confidently and less painfully. Anger management course


2. Your childhood and upbringing
The way we learn to deal with feelings of anger is often influenced by our upbringing. Many people receive messages about anger as children, which can make it more difficult to deal with in adulthood. For example:

You may have grown up thinking that it is always okay to express your anger aggressively or violently. If you do not learn to understand and deal with your feelings of anger. It could mean that you have temper tantrums. 

You may have been brought up to believe that you shouldn’t complain, and you may have been punished for expressing anger as a child. It could mean that you tend to suppress your anger, and it becomes a long term problem, in which you react inappropriately to new situations that you are not comfortable with. 

You may have witnessed the anger of your parents or other adults when it was out of control, and you learned to view anger as a destructive and terrifying state. It could mean that you are now afraid of your anger and feel insecure about expressing your feelings when something makes you angry.

These feelings may then emerge at another unrelated moment, which may seem difficult to explain. Find out the effects of excessive anger


3. Current Circumstances
If you are currently facing many other problems in your life, you might get angry more easily than usual, or over unrelated things.

If there is a particular situation that makes you angry, but you feel unable to express your anger directly or resolve it, then you may find out that you express that anger at other times. The need to have Self-control is something to work towards.

Anger can also be part of mourning. If you’ve lost someone important to you, it can be extremely difficult to cope with all the conflicting things you might be feeling. Cruse Bereavement Care can offer support and information in this situation.  Is anger ruining your life? Learn how to control it

and also find out how to get over causes of anger

(For more information on organizations that can help you with your anger, see our helpful contact page.)

Breathing techniques have helped me control my anger. I know that if I take a moment to focus on my breathing and not my anger, I’ll have something else to focus on. 

Other causes of anger include memories of traumatic events or anger and worries about personal issues, feeling that your opinion or efforts are unappreciated and unfair.  Eliminate the causes of anger now!

You also have triggers for unique anger, based on what you have been taught to expect from yourself, others and the world around you. Your personal story also fuels your reactions to anger. For example, if you haven’t been taught how to express your anger appropriately, your frustrations may boil over and make you feel bad. 

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